Scottish Kilt

Really quickly, think of how cool Sean Connery is…yeah, Sean Connery. That’s how cool Scotland is. While Scotland doesn’t exactly have the best weather in the world, the light rain and overcast sky hanging over lush green pastures and rolling hills gives the entire landscape a comforting, even homey feel. The entire country welcomes you into it. And maybe it’s just me, but any country with castles makes me feel like I can run around with a sword and rescue princesses from towers (every little boy’s dream).

The myths, legends, and history of the Scottish highlands creep out of every stream and jump out at you form behind every rock. After a week of learning about the culture and history of the Highlands, here’s what I’ve learned:

- The Loch Ness Monster, Nessie, most definitely exists. There is no way for me to convince you in this blog, but if you take the tour of the Loch with a true believer, YOU WILL BELIEVE.

- Also, sadly Braveheart did not do the best of job at capturing William Wallace’s life and Robert the Bruce was awesome and not as backstabbing as the movie made him out to be. The true story of Wallace, in fact, is even more baddass. The dude was one bloodthirsty psychopath…his sword’s sheath was made from human skin.

- The Scottish really do not like the British. There’s some bad blood in that department and most Scots are more than ready to tell you all about it.

- Finally, there’s Scotch everywhere, and it is glorious. The smooth, smokiness of Scotch must be among the best tastes in the world and it is impossible to make it around Scotland without having more than a healthy dose of the heavenly stuff.

The biggest and best surprise of the entire trip came in Edinburgh. We arrived at the beginning of an event that I am definitely returning to next August. The Fringe.

The Fringe Festival is the world’s largest art festival…by a long shot. And this is art in the best and most diverse sense of the world. There are hundreds of visual art shows, plays, comedy shows, musical performances, and lectures as well as being the world’s best convention of street performers.

There are solo-dramatic performances, hilarious stand-up shows, even classes on burlesque (I didn’t make it to that one, though). For a little cred you might respect, Flight of the Conchords was discovered there and Rhys Darby (Murray, the manager, from the show) performed this year.

Parts of the city are transformed into massive hubs for the festival, town squares are converted in beer gardens with astro-turf and large alley ways branch off into venues and bars. The nightlife stays open till 5 a.m. during the Fringe and since the first shows start at 8 a.m. and the last shows start at 3 a.m., you could theoretically experience the Fringe for almost 24 hours a day.

The venues are small and the prices are totally reasonable too, I saw four shows (all amazing) in places with no more than fifty people and didn’t pay more than 10 pounds a ticket. If you get a pass for the Fringe you can see all the shows you want for 5 pounds each. It was an exhilarating start to my time in Scotland. The motto for our Haggis tour was “Wild & Sexy” and the Fringe was just that. I have to go back and do the Fringe for a full week next year

Photo Credit: www.theedinburghblog.co .uk on Flickr

We bolted for the Highlands. There was no stopping us. The bright yellow tour bus resembled the Coors Light Silver Bullet Train in my mind as it streamed like a beast across very green and steadily growing hills. When there was a need to stretch the legs, we stopped in a town that brings to mind the adjectives quaint, cute and colorful. When our bellies grumbled, pubs and cafes appeared and never did we leave the big yellow bus door without multiple recommendations for the best food to be had or the best church to be seen.

On the bus, it was always learning time. If I were to pack in the amount of knowledge our guide Kyle had about Scotland into my head, surely geometry equations and verb conjugations would spill out of my ears. Basically, his brain overfloweth with Scottish facts. He told stories, recounted mythical tales and even played DJ by orchestrating an eclectic and authentic Scottish playlist. Bus time was never wasted time.

As the landscape got cooler, we began the side trips. The Battle of Culloden was apparently one that determined the fate of our future countries and cultures. Kyle explained the brutal slaughtering of the Jacobites as we stood on the very soil that soaked up the puddling blood. You can do nothing else in such a spirit-filled presence but wander solemnly and imagine mass fatalities occurring on this, currently, luminous land. Eerie.

Tour of the Scottish Highlands

After having a little cultural reenactment by a traditional Scottish clansmen (man, those clothes must have smelt rugged), Kyle made it possible to take an optional boat ride on the Loch Ness. We boarded as skeptics, thinking we were only there for the scenery and to joke about water monsters, but I returned to solid ground with squinting eyes and an odd sensation that I believed what the sailor aboard was telling us. There really may be a monster, or perhaps 18, in the Loch Ness. There’s some pretty eerie “proof” circulating on the down low.

Day two pleased me to no end. The castle from the movie Entrapment?! Get outta town! We walked around what was once majestic, then terrorized and knocked to the ground, and is now rebuilt to its original splendor. Eilean Donan Castle is one famous little stack of rocks at the merging of three lakes, and I oogled the rooftop, trying to envision Sean Connery dropping his whiskey glass into the swampy abyss.

And with a subsequent visit to the Isle of Skye, I was then rocked by colors: slate blue ocean, yellow-green hills, pale blue skies, gray and mossy stones of yore. This day reminded me I see the Highlands permanently stuck in some medieval period, where stones are primary building materials, blood is shed in the most brutal way, and the oldest of English vocabulary is necessary for conversation (though Highlanders usually only spoke Gaelic). It’s funny to think where we get these ideas, to suspend a culture in a time we never really knew or witnessed firsthand. I guess Scotland lends to it with the preservation of its medieval castles (as does Florence with the Renaissance architecture or my grandma with her ’70s style furniture). We all reminisce about the good ‘ol days, I guess.

I was never untouched by the view out the window. The soil of the hills held stories I’d cringe hearing and the clouds were ever-present to keep the landscape new and changing. Glen Coe was no exception to the beautiful Highland rule: this spot on the Earth is towering and begging to be hiked. And when a leisurely drive around the open land brings you past cows with teenage boy hair, you can’t help but think the Highlands are hilarious. One may even call them Wild and Sexy.

Stepping outside after dropping my dirty and travel-worn bags, I noticed the cobblestones, the old building fronts, the charm that draws you in immediately without the need for double-decker bus tours or guided walks following a man holding a yellow umbrella. Edinburgh is a city that makes you yearn not to be a tourist. All I wanted to do was find some grad student pub or old bookstore, sit in a wee corner of a medieval building or on a less-crowded city sidewalk and soak the old and the new in through my skin and eyes.

High Street in Edinburgh, Scotland

Edinburgh isn’t stuck in the past. It seems the residents are in sync with 21st century life while loving the saturation of rich culture and history that surrounds them in this city. She reminded me of Florence, not in style or appearance but through the tangible beauty of sitting amidst the memories of diverse and exciting centuries.

I had the added pleasure of having a friend in town, a pal named Mary from my high school and college days who had lived in Edinburgh for about two years altogether. She had a passion for the Scottish and especially the fantastic culture to be found down each cobbled street. And Mary took me straight to the ambiance I was thirsting for: a bar by the local university, filled with young minds and cheap, local draft.

Within about 60 minutes of landing in Scotland, I fell for the country. It could be the quarter of my ancestry screaming out for its Scottish roots, but I don’t think you have to be a Scotsman by blood to realize the joys of the plaid land. When every building speaks of a bygone era and every local seems to reek of humor, you feel satisfied with your destination…

I highly doubt Edinburgh in the off-season lacks the vigor of its summer days, but we came at the absolute best time of year. August brings the Fringe, the world’s largest arts festival, which means the city doubles in size, every nook is filled with artisan wares, and the energy of Edinburgh reaches all-time highs causing anyone to feel inspired and want to grab a mic or a paint brush. I felt the own artist in me jumping around inside, hoping to express something amidst a sea of purging souls. Part of me now feels there’s no other place on Earth to be in August than here.

I think my friend, as well as the fabulous Rachel Rudwall, had it figured out: Edinburgh is a great place to study abroad. And if I’m lucky, I’ll return to truly experience the grandeur of the Fringe Festival in August, as well as spend some quality one-on-one time with a city that now makes my top ten list: Edinburgh.